i can't be alone in this

past couple of days have been kind of hard. not quite sure why-they just feel rather heavy.

that's why i love it when john mark mcmillan sings to me "one day when i'm free i will sit cripple at your table, cripple at your side.
and i sit beside you!"

obviously, he doesn't mean me :) he means Him

world feels lonely...could be cause i'm growing up and it's hitting me hard in the center of the chest. kind of catches your breath and won't give it back.

peter pan says it well when fighting cap'n Jas Hook: I'm youth! I'm joy! I'm the little bird that has broken out of the egg.

can i stay a baby bird all my life? flying looked fun at one point, but today, it's mighty windy out there, and these wings are pretty shaken.

"one day when i'm free..."
thanks JMM.

the blood of a husband silences wars for the girl who rises to meet Him :)

today

it is GLORIOUS outside today.
i decided to take little kenny on a walk today, drinking my cup of stash chai with a dabble of milk.
we toured the neighborhood, taking streets i'd never been on, seeing houses i'd never stopped to notice.

then we spotted it: the worlds most beautiful house, shining in all it's glory.
i literally couldn't believe my eyes. we walked closer to get a better view.
i stood there, awestruck.  how can a house so beautiful, so perfect exist?

the irony of it was that the green house two doors down has been shut down, due to the discovery of a meth lab.
across the street lies cedarwood health care center, where residence live, not in the greatest conditions.

this is the street i know my family would have a heart attack if i lived on it.
it's dirty...it's dangerous.
it's...lovely.

outside of the world's most beautiful house is the world's most perfect tree.
the sky is blue! and the tree is full of beautiful green leaves! the light is shining through them and lighting up the entire street.
this street may be dangerous
it may be dirty
but this one house of beauty brings a light to it incomparable.

i would live in this house

my first wedding

not my own, but my first as a photographer!

i've spent the past month with what little time i could find using my dad's computer to sort through all of Craig and Tricia's photos. finally this week i got my own computer and i'm able to go through them all myself whenever i want.

so here is just a taste. this is probably my favorite photo from the night:

my own identity

as of last night, i realized a struggle i've lived with my entire life.
as of two seconds ago, i'm starting to think maybe it's not just me.

i'm learning, through multiple conversations that the work my dad does is really hard. he puts heart and strength and time into creating his classes, developing his topic, producing lectures.
so when his material is delivered and then credited to someone other than himself, it's really hard.

"i want my own identity" he just confessed to me.

all of a sudden, it all made sense. this struggle has been my constant companion since i began talking (and i was deemed "motor-mouth" at the age of 2).

i want to be my own person. i want to be appreciated for being myself. i want to be different, and have that mean something, make an impact!

i want to be myself, and i wnt that to be enough. so when that is challenged, i become defensive, to the point of where i was last night.
but what i want to know is why is this issue to close to my heart? why do we want so badly to be ourselves?

could it be that God actually created me to be myself, and no one else? could it be that He is completely satisfied with who i am? could it be that He made me to be a certain way, to be a certain person and all that He wants is for me to become that person?

to be fully myself, i believe i might understand Him more.

LORD, give me the freedom to let go and accept this

welcome to my photoblog

i
love
life

the world is beautiful, especially the details in it.
we never stop to see how intricate they are.
i've taken it upon myself to show you.

so here it goes :)

maybe everyday you will see one new picture, maybe you'll see 5!

simply, i am myself. i am who i am, reflected in the face of I AM.
i hope you enjoy what you see, cause i am showing you Him.

i love lighting
i love angles
i love quirky
i love color
i love close up
i love details
i love YOU