my own identity

as of last night, i realized a struggle i've lived with my entire life.
as of two seconds ago, i'm starting to think maybe it's not just me.

i'm learning, through multiple conversations that the work my dad does is really hard. he puts heart and strength and time into creating his classes, developing his topic, producing lectures.
so when his material is delivered and then credited to someone other than himself, it's really hard.

"i want my own identity" he just confessed to me.

all of a sudden, it all made sense. this struggle has been my constant companion since i began talking (and i was deemed "motor-mouth" at the age of 2).

i want to be my own person. i want to be appreciated for being myself. i want to be different, and have that mean something, make an impact!

i want to be myself, and i wnt that to be enough. so when that is challenged, i become defensive, to the point of where i was last night.
but what i want to know is why is this issue to close to my heart? why do we want so badly to be ourselves?

could it be that God actually created me to be myself, and no one else? could it be that He is completely satisfied with who i am? could it be that He made me to be a certain way, to be a certain person and all that He wants is for me to become that person?

to be fully myself, i believe i might understand Him more.

LORD, give me the freedom to let go and accept this