leaves and marriage

what an amazing day.
the kind that overwhelms you.
i guess i could say that every day. at least i hope to.

but today is different. i woke up to the sounds of deep thunder.
opened my window and the sky was the perfect grey, accenting the orange trees.
now i sit here, sipping my tea, john mark singing to Him, singing to me,
as the yellow leaves falls in unison, dancing to the music.

it hits one part of the street at a time. like a round. peters house down the street is dancing to this part, now moving upstreet to lisa and shaunas house. fluttering, like a ballet.
now my house. perfectly timed.
reminds me of the nutcracker, when mandy took me to denver, and we froze and changed our clothes in the car after eating panda express. we got so lost, and had to walk so far in the snow in our nice shoes. but we made it!
it was magical.

i love memories. they are a gift. usually the memory of something is much more rich than the actual time itself.
i'm sure that night we were frustrated, getting lost, trying to find directions.but in my mind it was a beautiful night.

sometimes the desire for something becomes more important than the something itself.
the fact that we can desire, the fact that we can, do indeed long, proves to me that there is more for us.

"He has set eternity in the hearts of all men"
that means those longings, are longings for home.

o! the word home. to be home. have you ever felt a moment when you knew you were having a taste of home?
ben is my taste of home. not always, granted. he is by no means perfect. but those times cindy i've told you about, when i'm putting my vulnerable heart out there for the word to say what they will, and he says what He has told him to say.

cindy, our times together is home for me.
aunt barb, sitting in your living room, pouring out my fears to seek your advice, is home to me.
veanez, you and i have pretty different homes. the layout would be totally different. the way we take care of our homes completely different.
but you prune me. you sharpen me. we have the same home. it just looks different. :) but He is our home. He is our common.

now penny joins me in my little outdoor haven. the world is still for a minute. john mark sings about the blood of a husband silencing wars.

i'm getting ready to be a bride. and i have a husband waiting for me. it's overwhelming, this idea of a man wanting to be my husband. wanting to come beside me, to look to me and say "this is good"
it's the most beautiful illustration of Home.
someone loves me enough to pick me out of others, to even at times be overwhelmed by me.
is it possible that my deepest longings are being spoken to, from Home through him?

to be amazed, to be overwhelmed, to stand in awe, brings me the greatest delight.
to be amazing, overwhelming, to cause awe...the root of every human heart.

to bring joy, that some would never have tasted had i not been born.
my husband here is helping me believe it, echoing my Husband at Home.