when you are the student of someone, you are in awe of them. you cherish their words. you respect them. you look up to them. you value them, and make sure they know it.
on the other side of things, when you teach someone you feel incredibly valued, accepted. someone really is thriving off of the things i can share with them! i can teach! i can help! i am worth something.
but when you are friends with someone, once you get to that same playing field, you all of a sudden become defensive. no longer do you heed their advice: you challenge it. you begin to make sure they are aware of their faults, and the praise comes in less frequent batches.
since when was encouragement wrong? i discovered tonight, i actually fear relationships moving from a mentoring stage to a same playing field stage. i've been hurt so many times by it that i'm actually scared of it.
it happens with no warning. they don't tell you "oh, i've grown so now, that your advice is a challenge, no longer a wise direction."
it's hard. i don't know if i'm wrong for feeling this way.
but if there is anything about myself i value, it's letting you know what i'm struggling with, and not putting a face on it.
i'm not going to pretend i'm okay with it, because it really does hurt.
No comments:
Post a Comment