what it means to have

have you ever realized that God is in love with you?
it just sneaks up on you, unexpected and all of a sudden you are overwhelmed because you've discovered that God, the person that everyone in the world is looking for, asking about, hoping exists,
is in love with you.

it's incredible.
and that's how this weekend was.
love,
after love,
after love
after love

piling up, and pressing on me till eventually i couldn't hold it in and it just jumps out of me.
and it's beautiful.
and it's making me beautiful.

it's knowing that even when things sucks, they are not beyond hope. even if it's hard, you're in it together and so you can still enjoy it.
even when you are fighting or you don't understand Him, you HAVE Him.
you are free to feel joy, because you have Him.

i'm talking about God. but i'm learning this will apply to marriage too.
and that's another beauty. everything is expressing Him. everything is telling me more about Him.

you have each other. you are struggling, it's hard, it's painful. but you HAVE each other.
it's beautiful.

i have a man. i'm amazed. i'm thankful. i'm blessed. i'm joyful!

"but what if i'm not worthy?
-you have made me clean"